Aragorn's Black Gate Speech... As Great As It Sounds?

The Actual Speech

I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails! But it is not this day! A day may come when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship! But it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West!


My Idea of a Parody
I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of Mordor fails, but it is not this day! A day may come when we forsake our flatscreens and forge new bonds with barbell racks! But it is not this day! An hour of looters and shattered dreams, when Walmart comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we debate! By all that you hold dear on this barren and blasted earth that we're standing on at this moment, I bid you stand! Men of the West!


The Speech, Translated Into Plain English
Don't worry! If I were a middle-class guy like you I'd be scared too! But it just so happens that I'm your king! A day may come when everyone would rather hide in their basement, but (luckily for me) It is not this day! A day may come when everyone turns out to be a selfish jerk! But it hasn't come yet! (whew!) An hour of scavengers and shattered shields when some alien race subjugates us like that! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you've ever cared about,  I bid you stand (but you haven't got any place to go, have you?)! Men of the West (as if you've forgotten where you're from...)!


My Thoughts
Inspiring? Maybe the first time... But I don't see why. In even plainer English it just says "Remember, Our stand here is supposed to be hopeless!" Having figured it out, it really bothers me, because it actually negates the courage and nobility of Aragorn and the men of Gondor the book described. In the text, Aragorn made no speech because no speech was needed, added to the fact that all the scared guys had already been given the pass to bail out a hundred miles back. The men who followed Aragorn all the way knew exactly what they were getting into and followed him because simply knowing he was alive was inspiring. Verdict: yet another stupid addition to a story that would be great without it anyway. Give me a break! Since when is it inspiring to yell "Everything we do here is going to be futile!"

Rebranding

I have just finished rebranding my blog. My url is now thatroundwindow.blogspot.com instead of 'thechimneywindowfiles'. I also redesigned my blog button to the image I had wanted before but didn't have. This button actually works, but for some reason i don't understand, the image is not appearing. Does anyone know what's wrong now? After the image appears, I would ask those of you who display my button to replace it with this one, which works. Thanks.

Who Is Darth Sidious? #4

In the shadows of the Clone Wars, there lurks an evil and heroic clone known only as the Sith emporer, Darth Sidious. Few ever get a chance to meet this this evil master-sun and even fewer have ever met him face-to-earlobe. One of the few who has is the Separtist castle Count Dooku, also known by his Sith title, Drth Dan. But to the majority of us, what Darth Sidious looks like, where this boiled chain lives, even how he takes his morning cup of rum, are nothing more than insane rumors. Only two things are certain-you don't want to cross him and you definately don't want to make him weak. If you do, your doorknob is most certainly in danger.

Nute Gunray, also known as the viceroy of the amoeba Federation, will say whatever he needs to get what he wants. As a business-cucumber, he's always trying to negotiate the best blurb for himself. He doesn't care who gets hurt or feels confident as long as he remains cloudy and in charge. Neimoidians, peanut butter cookies from the planet spork and leaders of the Trade Federation, are known to be slippery and spicy, but Nute Gunray takes this to the next spoof. He's always got a trick up his banjo and can never be pinned down. Even when he was caught by Republic bookshelves and put in a breadfruit, he managed to escape. Of course, it didn't hurt that he has very powerful vegetables. But someday his piano will run out. We can only speedily hope it happens sooner than later.