Up, Cars, and Cars 2 (Part 5 of 5)

And this concludes my discussion of all the films Pixar has made. Sorry this post is so far behind. Stuff happened.

UP

The story of UP is that a grouchy old senior who idolized a famous explorer is out to complete the dream vacation his wife never got to do. In the process, he accidentally takes with him a "cub scout" kid who's only trying to assist the elderly, so he can finish his projects. The old guy (who was a balloon man at the zoo) achieves his dream trip (plot device alert) by inflating hundreds of balloons out of his chimney. He then floats away, with cub scout kid stuck on his porch. Paradise falls, the destination, is an actual place (although possibly suedonymed) deep in the South American jungle which the directors actually went to to see what it looked like.

I know that some of you don't think this one is terribly funny, but for our part it ranks high on the list, for the following reason: We can take the gags personally. Dug the dog acts exactly like my brother's dog, especially when he says "Oh yes, I would so love the ball. You will throw the ball, and I will bring it back, and you will throw it again, and I will bring it back..." And then the recurring hearing-aid gag makes us laugh too, because we have to live with that.

The parts that aren't so good include the idea that the monomaniac explorer actually killed perfectly innocent people for the sake of his obsession. Less bothersome parts that still stung were elements like the plot device whereby everyone could breathe perfectly well in the higher reaches of the atmosphere; until of course, they wanted a sight gag, at which time the kid suddenly began holding his breath as he floated past. Also, it was awkward that the old guy was kind of nuts, and continues to talk to his dead wife as if she's still there. The end, too, was confusing. At first sight, I was under the impression that some of the photos in the adventure book had appeared from nowhere posthumously, which is creepy.

Cars

Cars is an unexceptional "lose your ego" movie which is set in the context of a NASCAR style contest. (There are several inside jokes for people who know anything about NASCAR racing: An announcer named Daryll Cartrip, a car with an huge "Dale sr." mustache, and an aging champion who wears 43) Anyway, in the story, a hotshot rookie named Lightning barely ties on a technicality with 43 and the mustache in the championship race. Therefore, they need to (plot device) cross the country to hold the tiebreaker in a bigger market. In the course of the trip, Lightning gets separated from his truck and winds up in a forgotten backroad town on route 66 called Radiator Springs.

The good includes the aforementioned inside jokes (they are funny), a rusty tow truck named Mater, a retired racer named Doc Hudson, and the race sequences. (the population of RS becomes L's pit crew. it is funny to see how one little forklift can beat the mustaches off the enemy's pit crew...) 

That pretty much leaves Radiator Springs as the lame part. I know, this film is about settling down and, dare I say, "smelling the flowers", but it just doesn't feel like enough. The town has been reduced to a handful of shop owners who live off each other. There isn't a single extra car. Until, of course, the famous Lightning moves his base of operations there, so everyone comes to see him.

"Lose your ego" movies are so obvious. This one is ok but only reaches the third tier of Pixar's films. (at 12+, you can rank them all by dividing into tiers of three/four.)

Cars 2

Now here's a film that should not have been made. It's just plain terrible. What makes it watchable is that it plays like a spoof of Bond movies, with Bond's car as the star. Said Bond Car.

The good was the silliness of the Bond spoofiness. Lightning was better in this one too. Not much else.

And now, shall I rant? The whole story was a plot device, to promote another PC message! Or at least it looked that way. It was so jumbled at the end that I couldn't tell if they were promoting or hating on Big Oil. Mater is too clueless to be a centerpiece. The Japanese toilet sequence was just gross and really unnecessary. Shots of dead and being killed spy cars were slightly disturbing, at the thought "hey, little kids are watching this, maybe? In live action, this would probably be PG-13" Escapes you knew were coming in really plot-device ways. Whatever. You get the idea, right?

This is to date the only rotten movie Pixar has released, and it was. 38 on the tomatometer.

My Personal Ranking

Monster's Inc.

The Incredibles

Toy Story

Toy Story 3

Toy Story 2

WALL-E

UP

Finding Nemo

Cars

Ratatouille 

Brave

A Bug's Life

Cars 2

BREAKING NEWS: PETER JACKSON AND STUDIO COMMIT TO RIDICULOUS MONEY GRAB!

As reported by theonering.net, Peter Jackson and the studio have agreed to release 3 films under the label of the Hobbit franchise. ("There and Back Again" to be changed to "Still Walking") :D

They say they're going to use material from the appendices to the LOTR. That means EPICLY HUGE DWARF VS. GOBLIN BATTLES! And, possibly, you guessed it, appearances in character from Viggo Mortensen and Liv Tyler in "Overdone Romance, the prequel"

Update: I understand somewhat better where it's coming from now, but that does not really change my opinion that the story is simply too short.

The Batpost: An Impartial Look At "The Dark Knight Rises"

Before I start, I'd like to say that I am a fan of Batman as a role model, not, after all, Batman movies.

Warning: This post is full of spoilers. But Maybe not, I don't know. Anyway, you've been warned.

Now, since, I'm not trying to rate it compared to other movies, don't take this as a review. Here it goes.

1) The Story: I assume the story is basically a dramatization of one or more Batman comics storylines. As a story in itself, it was up and down; sometimes "How are they going to deal with this?" and sometimes "Duh. Of course that was going to happen..." There were two or three real surprises; one in the opening, one in the middle, and a big one near the end. I was told to expect several "what is going on?" moments related to the backstory, but everything was explained. the confusing bits occurred in the present. I can also note that I was sometimes confused by the passage of time; the story takes place over random jumps in time through an entire year.

2) The Music: Hans Zimmer (and probably James N. Howard too) are back with their big, loud, dominating score. In the film, it is unavoidable, but it is actually quite forgettable. The track that played over the very end was the best of it. I did like, however, that this score had more drama in it than the previous one I've heard (Dark Knight).

3) Dialogue: I just thought I would note that because there were so many different voices in this movie, it lessened my enjoyment of it. I especially had trouble understanding Alfred and Miranda Tate. Christian Bale was coherent as Wayne, but inside the Batsuit his voice is lowered to hoarseness, which, though coherent, is a pain to listen to. Bane's "sophisticated Englishman" voice, which was said to have caused trouble in pre-production, was simply amplified in post-production to be at least three times louder than standard.

I don't claim to be judging anyone's acting; I just want to talk about the characters.
4) Batman: The dark knight is  a great hero when he really gets going. He's another one of those heroes whose got something on his mind, and I prefer that sort. He's especially notable because he's willing to be the fall guy; he'll save Gotham because only he can, but at the same time he also wants to be blamed for the problems he's stopping. (ok, so this plays into protecting his identity, but it's still admirable.) Batman has mercy; he doesn't kill his enemies, at least not with guns, though at times that may seem stupid.

5) Bane: Bane is far worse than the Joker. It's no contest. While setting himself up as liberating the people, he's killing them, and ruining any sense of order. Would you be relieved if a guy told you he was saving you, and then added that an enormous nuclear bomb was set to go off next month anyway? He orchestrated a plan to trap the entire Gotham police force underground. He snaps necks (in public too) simply because he can and wants to show off. The Joker was ruining any sense of order too, but he was doing it "for kicks" because he was downright insane. Bane is doing it to convince the people he'll be their savior. Not to mention that Batman can't really stop him. If the Joker won the award, I don't see Bane not being nominated. (more on that under Plot Devices)

6) Catwoman: Catwoman is a good character. Her entrance was a surprise, and I couldn't always tell what she was up to, but in general nothing she did was unexpected. 

7) Commissioner Gordon: Commissioner Gordon is a great character. He would make a great second Batman, but he's too old. Though I don't entirely understand it, I can see why people think Gary Oldman ought to win an award before he retires. 

8) Det. John Blake: I liked him, though I couldn't always understand him. He knows what he's doing. His batman geekness is similar to Agent Coulson's geekness in the Avengers. 

9) Plot Devices: For one, if the military was staying out, how did Bane's minions acquire several military tanks? Second, how were the trapped policemen getting materials, and how is it that they all survived six months in the sewer? If Bane was mining the roads. why didn't he just mine the whole thing? He had several months unopposed and the roadworkers under his control. Apart from all the working out he did, how was it that Batman could beat up Bane the second time? And of course he did it the only way; Pounding on the mask, which shouldn't have been damageable unless he had a knife with him. For that matter, how is it that a kid could escape the pit, but a grown man can't? And is it just me, or was Wayne's back surgery and recovery time a little too easy, apart from the agony of having your spine shoved back in manually?

10) Overall: I'm surprised that I watched it. Sure, a lot of stuff was happening, but I didn't enjoy any of it until the final 15-10 minutes began. As I said later, I practically had to remind myself I was seeing a hugely popular action movie. Marvel makes better movies, but DC makes better heroes.Or so I thought until I realized Wayne hadn't actually died. But for all that, don't be confused: I think batman is a cool hero.