An Outsider's View of The Avengers

First off, I know nothing about the Avengers characters except what I got out of Captain America's movie, Thor's movie, JandJproductions, and the various trailers of the upcoming film. I have not really watched any of the released clips except "Iron Man and Loki", which I muted. I don't look at reviews either. That being said, this post is about my expectations and thoughts regarding the film, taken one character at a time.

Nick Fury: It's apparent that he is the dude with the eye-patch who is presumably also the supers' direct superior for some reason. I don't see a reason why, after chasing down each of them, it's also his job to join in. I guess he likes being a very hands-on boss, which is usually a good thing. When I saw his bazooka, I thought "The man's gone crazy!" ;D Bazooka + eye-patch = alien exterminator for hire... I expect that he'll do his share of blowing things up, but he's mostly just talk. Best trailer quote from this character: "You have made me very desperate." Well, Loki must be more powerful than we thought...

Steve Rogers, aka Captain America: So I saw CA's vehicle film, and I thought "He's a good character and all, but there really isn't that much to the story. I know they said all his good qualities were enhanced, but I'm thinking "Come on, a character needs a bad side, or at least a reason to have a not-so-good side. That's standard storytelling." But as you no doubt know, this guy doesn't have one. I tend to favor characters who, in some form, have to struggle with themselves.   I actually appreciate that he has a temper in this movie, because it humanizes him a bit more. I expect him to assert authority over the others pretty quickly. It appears that his closest friend on the squad will be Thor, which fits for both them, actually. And one last thing. He can't actually die of anything, can he? "Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, what are you?"

Thor: While watching Thor's movie, I felt that it was absurdly overdone in some parts and laughed practically all the way through it. Later, though, I decided that if I just been able to keep my mouth shut I would have liked it. As for Thor himself, I like him a lot because he had to learn a lesson, and did a good job at it. I have to say, I didn't understand at the time why he smashed the Bifrost; I was thinking he had gone kind of crazy. Practically everything he said on Earth was downright hilarious to me. I hope he retains his archaic speaking style in the new film; that was his most memorable "thing". He appears to be in Iron Man's camp, but in the fighting, he's actually sticking it out with CA, which is cool. I expect to see a lot of projectile flinging from both of them, since each is carrying what amounts to a high-tech boomerang. It won't surprise me at all if he gets the most face time because of his personal connection to Loki and the Tessaract. If he labels anyone with an unusual name, a la "Son of Coul" I will be gagging in the theater...;D

Bruce Banner/Hulk: I almost saw Huk's film, but threw out the idea because I thought the ratings were too low.As an exception to what I said before, I should say I actually read the synopsis of the film on Wiki. That was as close as I came. Banner's another character with an internal struggle, so I sympathize with him a bit more, especially because he basically had to exile himself  in an effort to ensure that he doesn't lose control of his alter ego. I was also under the impression that hulk gets bigger as his adrenaline pumps faster. In that case, how big can he get?  If "We have a Hulk" is anything to go by, it sounds as if Banner is capable of dealing with the nemesis on his own. But that can't be true, because then it would be just another Hulk movie. What I can take from that scene at the time, Loki apparently isn't aware of Hulk's existence yet, so look for it to turn up soon after Loki appears. "We're not a team. We're a time bomb." or "Are we a team or a time bomb?' Tell me which one is the right wording.

Tony Stark aka Iron Man: Yes, he's down here because he's the one of the big four I'm biased against. I look for character, so a super who behaves like Stark does isn't really that super in my book, though he gets props for being smart enough to literally build his "superpowers". He's obviously CA's opposition as the leadership. Question is which of them is the opposition to the other? He's a big help because the other supers can't actually fly. At the end of an early trailer, you can see him get shot down by the aliens, which prompts Banner to jump from a rooftop/helicopter? to rescue him, so even they get on each others' nerves, I expect after that it will loosen up, or at least I hope so. Stark and Banner will probably be working together to develop new weapons on the fly after Loki reveals the Tesseract. Or else the Avengers will capture the tessaract, harness it, and then Loki will promptly steal it back (cue Thor in cylinder with his face on the glass). "Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." (oh so close).

Clint Barton aka Hawkeye: Hawkeye's the average guy in this group, and he's only the undisputed best shot in the world, equipped with arrows that can do who knows what (though there's strong indication that they can be explosives). I know nothing about him of course, but I'll be pulling for him just the same simply because he's an archer. He seems to be in the group to contain Hulk, and also get the drop on the aliens. When the time comes for the Avengers to steal the Tessaract, Hawkeye and Black Widow actually should be the ones to do it (though maybe with a bit of diversionary behavior from Thor, just in case Loki's watching.).

Black Widow: Being an outsider, I have to admit my first thought was "I hope this isn't just a marketing ploy." But I'm sure it will be fine, because this is an explosion movie, not a romance. And then I think: It's also cool because a martial arts expert is the only thing this group doesn't have otherwise, right? And, as an added bonus, she can fly spy planes down tower-lined streets... Who knew that would come in handy?

Loki: If they need such a powerful group to stop him, I expect that he'll show powers to rival Darth Vader's. Let's see: Two master spies, a stupid-rich wanna-not-be weapons developer, an accidental mutant, a nearly indestructible resurrected iceman, and his own brother by adoption the cape-wearing beard. If he's as powerful as all that, why does he need what has been described as "his various membered army"? Maybe because various members aren't so good at pushing said weapons mogul out windows or crashing black-tie dinners. Will he be the awesome conflicted villain we saw in Thor, or the stereotype "shoving my ego down your throat" evil boss?

My Questions: Why is Loki in Stark's flat, while Stark is at home, and Stark not care? Who's going to do the honors of getting rid of Loki anyway? (simple questions... but I don't know better ones...)

Archery

The weather having been unusually good where I live recently, I decided to post pictures of myself doing one of the few things I do. That being target shooting. I have two bows, which you can see in the pictures below:

A two-foot tall, simple compound; my first decent bow and good for distance.

A five-foot standard longbow. Thirty pound pull comes standard. This one is all-around better than the first.

In the photo above, you can see my target on the right side. I am not aiming at any particular spot on the stack; I'm not that good. I usually stand about five yards farther in, but I'm showing off for this shot. And yes, that's my Christmas stocking doing double duty as a quiver, but no, I am not a Cowboys fan. 

And, just for kicks, I have these...

Aragorn's Black Gate Speech... As Great As It Sounds?

The Actual Speech

I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails! But it is not this day! A day may come when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship! But it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West!


My Idea of a Parody
I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of Mordor fails, but it is not this day! A day may come when we forsake our flatscreens and forge new bonds with barbell racks! But it is not this day! An hour of looters and shattered dreams, when Walmart comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we debate! By all that you hold dear on this barren and blasted earth that we're standing on at this moment, I bid you stand! Men of the West!


The Speech, Translated Into Plain English
Don't worry! If I were a middle-class guy like you I'd be scared too! But it just so happens that I'm your king! A day may come when everyone would rather hide in their basement, but (luckily for me) It is not this day! A day may come when everyone turns out to be a selfish jerk! But it hasn't come yet! (whew!) An hour of scavengers and shattered shields when some alien race subjugates us like that! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you've ever cared about,  I bid you stand (but you haven't got any place to go, have you?)! Men of the West (as if you've forgotten where you're from...)!


My Thoughts
Inspiring? Maybe the first time... But I don't see why. In even plainer English it just says "Remember, Our stand here is supposed to be hopeless!" Having figured it out, it really bothers me, because it actually negates the courage and nobility of Aragorn and the men of Gondor the book described. In the text, Aragorn made no speech because no speech was needed, added to the fact that all the scared guys had already been given the pass to bail out a hundred miles back. The men who followed Aragorn all the way knew exactly what they were getting into and followed him because simply knowing he was alive was inspiring. Verdict: yet another stupid addition to a story that would be great without it anyway. Give me a break! Since when is it inspiring to yell "Everything we do here is going to be futile!"