11/25/2012

Les Miserable (Trailer On Demand)

 





For some time I had intended to do a trailer review for the movie "Les Miserables", which is coming out on Christmas, but recently I have learned two things about it which can be described in a few words and may put you off it, if you ever wanted to go: " probably rated R" (ok so it's not but it's still a musical-I thought that was fishy) and "musical". Now, "rated R" and "musical" may seem to be mutually exclusive terms, but now that this film is being made, it's been done. Below, I have gone through the significant points of the cast you can see in the new international trailer, with notes.
  1. Hugh Jackman, best known as Wolverine of the X-men movies, portrays the protagonist Jean Valjean, an escapee who was imprisoned for stealing one loaf of bread rather than enduring starvation.
  2. Russel Crowe, famous for being Maximus from Gladiator, but who I know best as Jack Aubrey of Master & Commander, portrays the antagonist, the almost atomaton-like Inspector Javert.
  3. Anne Hathaway, most recently Catwoman in this year's Batman movie, portrays Fantine, a destitute single mother who has been forced to give up her child. 
  4. Amanda Seyfried portrays Cosette, Fantine's daughter, who is a major character because she's constantly being practically stalked by 
  5. Marius, portrayed by a guy I've never heard of, he is a central character in the book, mainly because he's the guy in the "guy chases girl" romance in said book.
  6. A couple of notable roadblock antagonists (a married couple of unscrupulous innkeepers) are portrayed by Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha baron Cohen
  7. In retrospect, it's not hard if you pay any attention to movies to see Carter in this role. She seems to be a specialist at the "Crazy, evil/twisted lady" role. Bellatrix Lestrange has dyed her hair blonde.
  8. Never in 50 years would I have guessed that Sacha Baron Cohen would land a role in an adaptation of such a famous book. Every time he makes that news, he seems to be starring in a new offensive movie in a role he probably wrote for himself. Either that, or he's making the news for acting stupid while "in character" from his most recent release. Total surprise, but the role is what he does all the time: obnoxious jerk.
  9. Samantha Barks, presumably another rising star along with Marius, portrays Eponine, the almost-grown daughter of Carter and Cohen's couple, who has a crush on Marius, but helps him win Cosette anyway.
  10. A character I missed in the trailer is Gavroche, a street-smart mid-teen who is Eponine's younger brother, but has lived alone in a decrepit monument from a very early age because he was fed up with his treatment at home. He is undoubtedly portrayed by a competent minor who can sing.
Please comment if you are interested in seeing a satisfied reader's take on the full trailer.


11/03/2012

Gotcha!

"Every man dies, but not every man eats a Snickers bar first."




"Some that live deserve ice cream, and some that died deserved good healthcare. But can you give it to them?"


"I wish it had not happened in my time."

"So do all who live to see such presidental campaigns. But it is not theirs to decide. They can decide only what to do with the bumper sticker that is given to them."


Aragorn has been convicted on thousands of counts of voter fraud. Monitors found that many dead people on the rolls.


I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of Mordor fails, but it is not this day! A day may come when we forsake our flatscreens and forge new bonds with barbell racks! But it is not this day! An hour of looters and shattered dreams, when Walmart comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we debate! By all that you hold dear on this barren and blasted earth that we're standing on at this moment, I bid you stand! Men of the West!