"Every man dies, but not every man eats a Snickers bar first."

"Some that live deserve ice cream, and some that died deserved good healthcare. But can you give it to them?"

"I wish it had not happened in my time."

"So do all who live to see such presidental campaigns. But it is not theirs to decide. They can decide only what to do with the bumper sticker that is given to them."

Aragorn has been convicted on thousands of counts of voter fraud. Monitors found that many dead people on the rolls.

I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of Mordor fails, but it is not this day! A day may come when we forsake our flatscreens and forge new bonds with barbell racks! But it is not this day! An hour of looters and shattered dreams, when Walmart comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we debate! By all that you hold dear on this barren and blasted earth that we're standing on at this moment, I bid you stand! Men of the West!


  1. ROFL! These are hilarious! :D The one about Aragorn voting fraud is killer.


    1. Thanks. The bumper sticker crack was from The Scarlet Pimpernel, and you may remember I posted the parody of Aragorn's speech a couple months ago. (but it still works, of course...:D)