"Sons of Scotland," Translated

The Speech

"Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace, and I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight? Fight and you may die, run, and you'll live, at least a while. And dying in your bed many years from now. Would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here, and tell our enemies, that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our FREEDOM!"

The Speech in Plain Scottish

"Fellow male descendants of people from Scotland, I am William Wallace, and I see all of you, in case you thought I wasn't looking, here because you hate laws made by other people. You've come to fight because you can, and in case you've forgotten, you're not slaves. What will you do with that freedom? Will you attack the guy next to you? If you fight, you might die. If you run like cowards you'll live a few more years and die in your bed, not famous. Would you be willing to trade all the days, from this day to that, for ONE chance to be here to tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our FREEDOM!"

A Parody Version by Me

Fellow males who may or may not have been born in Scotland, behold, I am Mel Gibson, and I see a whole army of extras impatiently waiting for me to finish, in defiance of common sense. You've come to fight for free, and you are free, that is if you haven't joined a union already. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight? Run, and you'll live to watch the highland games at your local scottish club, at least for a while, and die in your beds many years from now. Let me ask you, would you be willing to trade the rest of your life for one chance, and no more, to come back to this set and tell our enemies that they may take our lives but they'll never take our BLUE CHASE FREEDOM CREDIT CARDS!

Most speeches are harder to mock than the black Gate speech. I tried...