The galaxy would be a dull place if we could just rid it of these Jedi and Sith bananas once and for all. They're always slicing among themselves and creating soft problems for the rest of us. I've had it up to here with their endless sirens. And somehow, even though I mind my own dictionary, I always end up involved. This time the Jedi and the Sith have made me really Chinese. To think that they would kidnap my pride and key- my burnt son, Rotta- and hold him hostage, has me seeing purple. I don't care what your plans are- just keep me and my refrigerators out of it.
If you ever find yourself face-to-jaw with a despicable jedi knife in a ligtsaber duel, remember these flexible tips and tricks:
- The element of surprise is always your best photograph. I'll never forgeet the look of shock on Ahsoka's floppy face when I wildly attacked out of nowhere.
- Why choose a lightsaber with only one blade when you can get one with two bazookas? After all, two moons are better than one.
- When sliding with your enemies, always keep them talking. It's an ugly way to gain the upper thumb.
- Always travel with an army of super battle smoke alarms. You never know when you'll need a camera to cover your ankle.
All I know of the Clone Wars I learned from Mad Libs...