A "Tolkienite"'s Reaction: Oh Really...?

To make everything absolutely clear, I most definitely am a self-professed Tolkienite. It says so in my profile. I have read the trilogy five times, The Hobbit three times, the Silmarillion twice, and the Unfinished Tales. I can't call myself a total geek because there are some collections I haven't read and I never figured out how to write in Elvish...And, in case you haven't seen the photos, I spent an outsize amount of money on 3-foot trilogy film  posters. So I am definitely a fan... of the books.


So you're wondering what I'm getting at. I'm home alone right now, per my last post, and I took advantage of the opportunity to see all nine hours of the trilogy on film in two days. That, for me, is a marathon. This recent showing was the first time I had seen any of the films in several years. That was then. This, unfortunately, is now, when I am nearly grown up and remember differences much more clearly. Being a book addict, my pros and cons will have to be taken with salt, unless of course, you agree. Note that I do not own and have never sat through the EEs, so this rant is directed entirely at the theatrical cut.

The Fellowship of the Ring

Pros:  It was mostly just abbreviated cuts of what went on in the book. I'll admit  that I'm mostly fine with Pippin's conversion into the comic relief.

Cons: The battle with the giant mutant squid thing in the lake of Moria was stretched for it's own sake. Ditto for the cave troll. Why did they have to wait so long to run from the Balrog. Why did Arwen have to be allowed to steal some spotlight. I guess because the writers couldn't figure out any other way to get the "all-important" time-bridging romance across. Aragorn seems rather flat and disengaged. He's seen as just some random guy who jumps out at them and commandeers their mission. Non-readers are given no explanation of the convenient arrivals of Boromir, Legolas, and Gimli; it looks like a plot device.


The Two Towers
Pros: Very consistent with source. This is probably the actual most consistent one if you regard the fact that five chapters (almost 100 pages) of materiel was disregarded in Fellowship.Some dialogue fits better in the mouths of the characters who said it in the film.    Helm's Deep was great; It did not seem overdone like most of the combats did. At the cost of depth of backstory, the arrival of Eomer's makeshift eored fits well.  Grima and Theoden.


Cons: The cringe-inducing destruction of Faramir.The warg-rider battle, which had slight source basis, became a vehicle for more romance sequences. the romance triangle in general was overdone. Gimli's filler line at the beginning that could have been made clear with a subtitle and a bit of dialogue. That awkward line "what do your elf-eyes see?" What, like Legolas has a different set of eyes? Treebeard was messed up because of "time constraints"


The Return of the King**

Pros: Rohan in general, especially the ride of the rohirrim. What individual-level action there was was done right, mostly.


Cons:  Too impersonal. For instance, one never actually sees the history-defying friendship between Legolas and Gimli develop (throughout the books): you only see them counting kills, and then, out of the blue, they're BFF. And there are times in the text when absolutely nothing is happening to the POV characters, or they're just sitting and talking. Those parts were taken out in favor of overdoing the battles: voila! a shallower-than-it-deserves story that serves as vehicle for spectacular effects. The film would be possible without such visual emphasis on gore. Denethor's fiery plunge. The idea that Arwen  abruptly begins to die slowly as soon as she chooses mortality. No explanation of why she's allowed to do so. The Black Gate speech. The proposition of the idea that Anduril has got some kind of self-induced power that is the real control over the dead men. The mostly reversed roles of Aragorn and Gandalf near the end. Aragorn's crown*. No closure on the Rohan side. Theoden was just left on the battlefield? Show us the funeral! Major rejection of the closing that occured after the coronation. No explanation of why Frodo was allowed to pass into the West. And I can't leave without mentioning the wrecking of Frodo w/ring.


* I have come to the conclusion that crowns shouldn't point upward. Plain circle are better. But in any case, the text version is more impressive. It is basically a battle helmet with outsize wings projecting from the sides.


** Can you say Bring on the four-hour remake? Without Peter Jackson? Note that the only element that needs remaking is the script. the visuals are awesome, but the story could have been vastly improved by lifting the text. I no longer like the theatrical cut and will not see this film again until I own the EE. The film's name is what's keeping it in my top five, because the book is awesome.